Spare | Part One | Out Of The Night That Covers Me by Prince Harry

“So what if their fun made me a laughingstock before my schoolmates, not to mention the wider world? So what if they were torturing a child? All was justified because I was royal, and in their minds royal was synonymous with non-person. Centuries ago royal men and women were considered divine; now they were insects. What fun…”

I am going to begin this review by stating here and now that I am well aware that opinions are heated, varied, and strong on Prince Harry. These are my honest opinion of his autobiography. Anyone who knows me is aware I am quite the royal watcher and have a massive interest in the British Royal Family. There is no ill intent and this review is strictly my own thoughts.

Now with that disclaimer placed right front and center, I am going to add one last comment. One thing that will not be tolerated is insults toward me or anyone else commenting on this post. They will be quickly removed and promptly forgotten. So no need to waste your time. Disagreeing is okay and is encouraged. Please remain polite in any and all discussions on my site.

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I realize writing this review is opening a can of worms but I really at this point cannot help myself! Ever since I was a little girl I’ve been more than a bit obsessed with the royal family. At the age of nine, I remember sitting in the living room and my mom had the news on. Princess Diana had died in a horrific car crash in a tunnel in Paris fluttered across the screen. My little heart was shocked. I don’t think I knew what death meant at this point; however, what captured me about this breaking news story was the fact a real true princess existed. She had died but this meant princesses were real.

A huge part of me never believed that there were real princesses and this was quite a moment for me. I wasn’t sad because I didn’t understand enough to be so but that is what over the years has kept me fascinated with the royal family. I’ve spent my whole life watching the Prince of Wales and Duke of Sussex grow up along with me. This review of Prince Harry’s new book will be a three-part review series because he has divided his book into three parts and this will give me time to listen to each part and do a write-up. The book was only released today so I need a moment. Please enjoy part one!

With all the hate surrounding the Sussex couple and all of their words being taken out of such context by the media, I was expecting a lot less. When Prince Harry’s Netflix documentary and autobiography were announced, admittedly I rolled my eyes a bit. My expectations for the docuseries and book were as low as they could possibly be. So many opinions had already been formed by just the snippets I’ve read in the media. It was all wrong.

Prince Harry does, in fact, have a story to tell and it is so relevant to what makes him who he is. The book blew me away quite frankly with how well it was written and J. R. Moehringer is a magnificent writer with the work he has done with Harry on the autobiography. Everything about it spoke to me as a reader sucking me into the life the man has experienced. Listening to this on audible, it shocked me how excellent of a storyteller and narrator Prince Harry is. The audio reading he does of his book is just impeccable. I was sucked right in and simply blown away by how poignant his story is.

This is a man that has been under a spotlight his entire life without truly understanding the why of it or his place in the world. He has very real and valid resentment for certain things in his life. Situations that were beyond his control and that he had difficulty coping with. A very striking line from the book stood out to me. As a very depressed child, Harry made an effort to disguise his misery and make others laugh. I am reminded of a saying, that some of the funniest people on earth are the saddest ones on the inside.

“We never worried about Pat catching us… She’d lunge, grab a fistful of boy.  Aha!… Didn’t stop us. We went on mocking her as she came down the stairs. The reward was worth the risk. For me, the reward wasn’t tormenting poor Pat but making my mates laugh. It felt so good to make others laugh, especially when I hadn’t laughed for months. Maybe Pat knew this. Now and then she’d turn, see me being a perfect ass, and she’d laugh too. That was the best. I loved cracking up my mates, but nothing quite did it for me like making the otherwise miserable Pat bust a gut.”

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Princess Diana died when Harry was a young boy and the trauma of losing her is really deep and not something he seemed really to get a lot of support for as a young boy. Harry believed that she had just disappeared and would be coming back at any moment. Spent years waiting for her return. Nobody really acknowledged how alone this child was in dealing with how to cope and handle the sudden loss he suffered during those early years of his life.

The trauma of Diana’s death left a massive void in Harry and the saddest part of his autobiography was the realization this man as a young pre-teen had absolutely nobody to talk to. No way of developing the skills to handle his grief. Harry wouldn’t allow himself to grieve because he still believed she was alive. The trauma was just buried down and ignored blatantly. There is so much love expressed in the book but make no mistake. This is a book about a boy who was sad and lonely with no way of knowing what to do.

“The next few days passed in a vacuum, no one saying anything. We all remained ensconced inside the castle. It was like being inside a crypt, except a crypt where everyone’s keeping to normal routines and schedules. If anyone talked about anything, I didn’t hear them. The only voice I heard was the one droning in my head, arguing with itself. She’s gone. No, she’s hiding. She’s dead. No, she’s playing dead.”

Harry is able to articulate quite well the silence and struggle that were at war within himself. Reading about his experiences the first year after his mother’s death really hit me hard. Grief is a strange beast and one I understand all too well. In 2017, my mom just didn’t wake up and died at the age of forty-seven. The trauma of doing CPR on her despite her not being with us anymore will always be a sadness I have in my heart. In those horrifying moments, I just couldn’t believe she wasn’t there and kept trying to wake her up. Something like that simply never goes away no matter what.

I relate so much to how Harry convinces himself it isn’t the truth. He was so young and just couldn’t understand; yet, the love he has for his brother, father, and grandparents is so greatly expressed despite the trauma and how alone he felt most of the time growing up.  Harry craved a little attention and appreciated all the family time he did get. The friends he made were valued. The goal was to find a reason and purpose for the life he was living.

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After reading part one, I find myself extremely confused. This personal autobiography is clearly Prince Harry’s effort of taking back control of the narrative. Telling his story as he experienced it because so much is written about him that gets things so wrong and there is a very real issue with the attacks from the media he has suffered his entire life. They target him, ostracize him, make up lies about him, and use his life to make money.

From a young child, for example, the paparazzi have chosen to target him and never care about the effects. Harry details that one time when a mate shaves his hair off in a haircut attempt gone bad. The next day a schoolmate leaked this to the press. Headlines were abdominal. The lines read “Harry the Skinhead” and other ridiculous titles to get a story. He was already embarrassed having to face the whole entire world knowing. The press didn’t care. Attacked a fourteen-year-old child regardless unabashed.

“I read the article several times. Despite the somber subtext—something’s very wrong with Prince Harry—I marveled at its tone: larky. My existence was just fun and games to these people. I wasn’t a human being to them. I wasn’t a fourteen-year-old boy hanging on by his fingernails. I was a cartoon character, a glove puppet to be manipulated and mocked for fun. So what if their fun made my already difficult days more difficult, made me a laughingstock before my schoolmates, not to mention the wider world? So what if they were torturing a child? All was justified because I was royal, and in their minds royal was synonymous with non-person. Centuries ago royal men and women were considered divine; now they were insects. What fun…”

There are many examples I can present that prove the media and press do nothing but take Prince Harry’s word out of context to sensationalize any story they think readers will eat up. I’ve seen this, especially in Harry and Meghan’s Netflix documentary. There were times when headlines would say that the documentary is nothing but an attack on Charles, William, and Kate. Yet, to my surprise in all six episodes, there isn’t really a bad word said about them. Sure, Harry tells his truth and details the difficulties he has faced and disagreements he and the royal family has had but no attack ensued. Harry makes it clear the royal family has real love for each other.

Another example to further make my point is that yesterday, there were so many articles saying that Harry attacks Queen Camillia calling her the wicked stepmother and comparing her to getting an injection. This is simply not true! He doesn’t say that at all. What he describes is anything but an attack on his father’s wife. Harry says he was nervous meeting her and had decided to treat it like getting an injection and getting it over with. Harry was nervous and scared to meet her. This is perfectly normal thing to feel.

He was making himself feel brave. He also goes on to say he wondered if she would be like an evil stepmother. She wasn’t he claims. Camilla was very nice to both Prince William and Prince Harry. There were no major claims against her character. He didn’t attack her. Everything those headlines said was out of line. They take innocent statements and twist them all up.

“Willy went first. He’d bumped into the Other Woman, once, at the palace, but now he was formally summoned from Eton for a high-stakes private meeting. At Highgrove, I think. Over tea, I believe. It went well, I gathered from Willy later, though he didn’t go into details. He merely gave me the impression that the Other Woman, Camilla, had made an effort, which he appreciated, and that was all he cared to say. My turn came next. I told myself: No big deal. Just like getting an injection. Close your eyes, over before you know it. I recall wondering, right before the tea, if she’d be mean to me. If she’d be like all the wicked stepmothers in storybooks. But she wasn’t. Like Willy, I did feel real gratitude for that.”

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All and all I found Prince Harry’s autobiography novel titled Spare to be a very profound and epic read worth anyone’s time if they are so interested in checking it out. One thing I cannot express enough is how well his feelings are articulated and what a wonderful narrator Harry turned out to be. He is a marvelous storyteller! I give this a five out of  five star review. Hands down.

My interest was kept and as a reader, I became very engrossed from the very first words. Honestly, I cannot wait to wake up tomorrow and begin reading part two. A review for part two will be posted Friday morning, and part three on Saturday or Sunday. It is a very easy read. The pacing is fast but steady. I feel like the chapters breezed by quicker than most I’ve read. The end of part one arrived before I had known it. Maybe that was because of how good of a read I was finding it to be. That was so very unexpected.

Thank you for listening to my long ramble. I hope you enjoyed my review. Please let me know your thoughts in the comments below. Even if you disagree and have different opinions. I want to know. These were my honest thoughts and take on the ongoing drama surrounding Prince Harry, his wife Duchess Meghan, and the rest of the royal family. Also, I haven’t started part two. Perhaps there will be more to say after I’ve read that. We will see if I think it is as good as part one. Thank you again for reading!

“What a grievous mistake it is for a member of the Royal Family, when considering the media, to imagine that things can’t get worse. Weeks later the same newspaper put me on the front page. HARRY’S HAD AN ACCIDENT. I’d broken a bone in my thumb playing rugby, no big deal, but the paper decided to make out that I was on life support. Bad taste, under any circumstances, but a year after Mummy’s alleged accident? C’mon, fellas. I’d dealt with the British press all my life, but they’d never before singled me out. In fact, since Mummy’s death an unspoken agreement had governed the press of both her sons, and the agreement went like this: Lay off.”

PLEASE CLICK HERE TO GET A COPY! 

Part Two has been released: CLICK HERE TO READ

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